Sham Wow Guy told me that he had just moved to Knoxville East Tennessee , two qualities that typically attract me.
As he was new to the area, I offered to pick him up for our lunch date so he wouldn’t have to worry with directions. He gave me his address. The “apartment” that he said his employer had supplied for him while he settled into the area turned out to be an Econo Lodge. The “apartment” number was actually his room number.
My Spidey sense warned me to be cautious. I pulled into a parking spot directly in front of his door, which was open. I walked to the door (but not in) and asked if he was ready for lunch. He invited me in for a few minutes while he finished getting ready, which I politely declined from the doorway. He continued to press me to come in to chat, offering to have lunch delivered to the room and trying to “tempt” me by mentioning the hotel pool (two things: I have a pool at my house and this hotel does not actually have a pool).
While still standing in the doorway, I noticed a huge pile of towels in one area of his room. I asked what that was about, and he finally told me that his job was to travel with car shows and sell these towels.
“Great,” I thought. “I have a date with a Sham Wow Guy who isn’t even really living in Knoxville
He asked me several times what I was looking for in terms of dating. I initially told him that I would like a relationship, but believe in one step at a time, so for today I was just looking to meet new people and see what happened. When he continued to press for more info, I finally told him that what I was looking for was “NOT afternoon delight.”
It seemed rude to cancel at this point (in hindsight I have no idea why), so instead I told him I would wait for him in the car while he finished getting ready. I went to the car and immediately sent a text to a friend giving her information about my whereabouts and a general description of the guy, should I be found floating in pieces down a river.
Sham Wow acted like he was searching frantically for something in his room. He then walked out and told me that he needed to look in his car for something. I assumed this was going to be the “I can’t find my wallet. Can you pay?” conversation. I was wrong.
Instead, Sham Wow told me that his roommate had left earlier and didn’t leave him with a key (the second bed in the room was made and there was no other indication of a roommate). He claimed that the room was in his boss’ name, so he wouldn’t be able to get a new key from the desk clerk. It appeared we had no choice but to have lunch in his room, as he couldn’t leave the door unlocked but couldn’t simply lock it and leave with no idea how he would get back in.
It turned out, we did have a choice. I chose to leave. I told him that things just weren’t right for us to have lunch that day and left. He sent me a text as I pulled off saying “call me when you have more time to stay”. I somehow didn’t find the time, and I assume he has now gone off to the next Sham Wow town.
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